The problem with writing this letter on Christmas eve is that you end up missing out one of the most important weeks of the year so I thought I would write this at the end of the year in order to incorporate this important week! But actually I realised that it’s not usually that important because mostly we are just eating too much, exercising too little and watching too much TV! Except this year and in particular this last week, we have had more than our fair share of sadadris -Nikhil is asking if this is our new social activity, but joking aside, sadly a lot of friends’ parents have passed away and even two of my cousins’ husbands. I always talk about the fragility of life and of course it is in these circumstances that we are reminded of it. But in July, we had an even more poignant reminder when Nikhil was involved in a head on collision in Spain. The fact that he had the presence of mind to crawl out of a burning car from the passenger side (the driver door was jammed) with both his knees severely injured was a testament to his quick thinking survival instincts. This was of course the weekend of the long awaited wedding celebrations for Arjun and Noemi so it was an emotionally charged weekend to say the least. More on that later.
It’s been a turbulent year all round. Russia invading Ukraine has sparked an energy and cost of living crisis and we are still facing turbulent times as Russia continues its indiscriminate bombing of Ukraine. Closer to home was no less turbulent- we’ve had 3 prime ministers in the space of a few months, the Queen passed away and the Royal family has had its fair share of scandals too. But we also had our ups – the celebrations for the Queen’s platinum Jubilee, and within the family, Arjun and Noemi’s wedding celebrations as well as Bhavini and Brett’s wedding.
After Germany had closed its borders again to the UK at Christmas it was touch and go whether we would be able to go and visit in January. But luckily they opened their borders just in time for our visit and so we were able to see little Eliyas now nearly 2 months old. Of course it was lovely to see Arjun and Noemi too. It was a short flying visit. And then later on towards the end of the month Nikhil and Anjul also went to visit. As I mentioned in my last letter, Nikhil was not happy to be called kaka so Arjun decided on Mjomba but this was getting to be a mouthful so we’ve decided to call them kaka anyway.
The kaka’s were brilliant with Eliyas, feeding him (he’s on the bottle was the breastfeeding was not working) and playing with him, but they did not offer to change his nappies!
Towards the end of the month Arjun and Noemi and now little Eliyas had their annual skiing trip with Noemi’s family to Austria. Unfortunately the weather wasn’t that great except for the last day and also they had to take it in turns to ski except for a few times when Noemi’s mum babysat. But it’s always nice to spend time with one’s family and again they’re not sure how many more skiing holidays they will have with the parents.
Nikhil had asked us if we wanted to go away for a few days in February and of course we never say no to a holiday especially with the boys. So the 3 of us went to Malaga for a few days. The weather was glorious and Hitesh and Nikhil played golf a couple of times whilst I walked with them. At one of the rounds, they paired up with these ladies who featured in some magazine as they were promoting the Solheim cup. The beach was nearby so we had long walks on the beach and we also went to Mijas which was really pretty and also Marbella Whilst it wasn’t beach weather, it was T shirt weather and the clear blue skies and winter sunshine rejuvenated our spirits. Definitely one to bear in mind in future for a short break.
Then Nikhil had a weekend away in Paris. This is the boy who begged to stay at home when he was young. He’s now realised how much of the world there is to see.
After this he had Oli’s wedding (again much delayed) where he was one of the groomsmen. Not exactly sure what the role of the groomsman is other than to make sure the groom turns up for the wedding! But he did do a speech for the rehearsal dinner. He’s getting quite good at these speeches.
Arjun, Noemi and Eliyas ( I think now I just have to say Arjun and family) were booked to come to the UK towards the end of February for belated birthday celebrations for me and Hitesh. (on my birthday Nikhil had taken us and Ujwal out for a meal at a Mexican restaurant) Eliyas’s first time in the UK. He’d got his passport sorted and was ready for adventure. But I don’t think he was expecting the journey to be so stressful. Noemi had been ill for a few days before they were due to fly and unfortunately was really bad the night before they flew. So Arjun reluctant to cancel as so much planning and anticipation had gone into this trip (plus he had finally got agreement to work from the UK – basically he’d arranged lots of client meetings) decided to come solo with Eliyas.
Arjun still has a UK passport; Eliyas has a German passport. Arjun is fairly dark; Eliyas is blond. It would be remiss of the customs officers if they didn’t question this anomaly. He had a very hard time convincing the German authorities that he really wasn’t kidnapping the baby. It didn’t help that Eliyas had had his first set of vaccinations the day before and was bawling his eyes out! Arjun had to call Noemi and for some reason, they were satisfied once they spoke to her. She didn’t have to come back to the airport!
So he finally managed to get on the plane and prepare a bottle one handed which Eliyas took and finally fell asleep after crying for ages whilst the plane was still on the ground. Arjun didn’t want to move him at all in case he then woke up and started crying again so he basically had a dead arm afterwards. But the flight itself was peaceful.
And then they were here at Heathrow. And no such customs drama at Heathrow. Actually he was waved through. No question about different national passports or where the mum was!
It was such a joy to have him here. Arjun was due to meet clients the Thursday and Friday but had cancelled and taken the time off. So it was great to spend some quality time with him too and get to learn Eliyas’s routine. And then on Friday, Nikhil suggested a round of golf . So Arjun and Nikhil left, leaving me and Hitesh to look after Eliyas. He was fine, but I think I got more than 10 calls and messages in those couple of hours.
The next few days passed rapidly as we had lots of family come and visit and we also went to visit and finally on early Sunday morning Noemi arrived as she had been cleared to fly. It was great to see her and Eliyas only 3 months old, had clearly missed her. Arjun had extended his trip by a couple of days to be able to meet the clients but then we had the train strikes so he was only able to go in once and had to do some meetings online. But for us it was great as we could spend more time together. Eliyas was warming up to us and we were going to see him again in a few weeks as we were all scheduled to go skiing in France.
Meanwhile Mogli had been at a dog sitters – she had been going regularly to this lady a couple of times a week on a day care basis, but for the whole week it was too much. She was bored and caused havoc with the other dogs so the lady who was scheduled to have her again whilst we were going skiing then refused to have Mogli. So another drama ensued as to who would look after Mogli. The Club Med we were in doesn’t allow pets so Arjun found a pretty awful apartment that did allow pets and he said they would book that and bring Mogli too. But then at the 11th hour they found a friend Nico who offered to look after her. And he took her for long runs and tired her out so she was no trouble at all!
The skiing was fantastic. Arjun and family had arrived early – Eliyas had been great in the car and pretty much slept throughout only waking up for feeds and nappy changes. Our flight was delayed so we arrived really late at night. We were 8 of us from the UK, Bhavini and Brett, Dan and Lara, Nikhil and Meena and Hitesh and I. We had booked the same club Med a couple of years earlier and it was a great location. Arjun and Noemi took it in turns to ski except for a few times when we looked after Eliyas. Dan had injured his hand so was not allowed to ski but he’d still joined us and worked from there. The Oshwal skiing group was on the other side of the mountain for that same week and so we organised to meet up with them one day and ski together. Funny how you hardly ever see them in the UK but then when you’re abroad you want to get together. But it was great to see them especially Shailan who we had introduced to skiing so many years back. It was Brett’s first time skiing and he was getting into it and doing really well. Hitesh did throw him in the deep end a little by taking him and Bhavin back home on a really slushy steep red run. They made it but we didn’t realise his knee had been hurting a lot – he’d damaged it playing football and it had really flared up.
A few afternoons we spent at the Bergerie a kind of afternoon club with dance music. You’re encouraged to dance on the tables and this time we were even photographed and on their face book page. Eliyas was there too – all 3 times that we went ! He was a little away from the action, fast asleep with some sound cancelling headphones, but he was there!
Dancing on the tables, Hitesh made some new friends who dragged him away and bought him some more drinks, he bought them drinks and before we knew it , he was dancing with the saxophonist on the table! Priceless memories. We were trying to work out who was more popular Hitesh or Eliyas and at the Bergerie it was definitely Hitesh.
We celebrated Arjun’s birthday when we were skiing. Eliyas had worn a t Shirt with ‘happy birthday Daddy ‘ on it. In the evening we all sang happy birthday and the staff brought out a tart but sadly he couldn’t have any as it wasn’t vegan.
It is great to have a skiing holiday with people half your age. They really do make you feel young and you forget all your aches and pains as you race to keep up with them skiing or apres skiing! The aches and pains do come back to haunt you afterwards with a vengeance though! Plus we had Covid again. Dan and Lara had been feeling poorly and tested positive when they came back and then I tested positive . Hitesh didn’t but he had all the other symptoms. Noemi and Arjun also got it but not Eliyas – but he had lost his voice. From all the shouting at the apres ski no doubt! Except he was always fast asleep!
Arjun had a final skiing trip with friends at the end of March – 3 in 1 year, but this time it wasn’t a full week. What can I say he loves skiing!
Meanwhile Nikhil had been approached by a recruiter to apply for a role at Market Finance (now rebranded Kriya) and he was reluctant to do so as he had only recently changed roles but decided after some persuasion to apply and did get the role and accepted so was due to start in mid June.
In April Nikhil went to Germany again to see Arjun and family. He just had a day with Noemi and Eliyas as they went early to Essen for Easter but he got to spend quality time with Arjun as well as play some golf and some squash. By this time Eliyas was 5 months old and responding to everyone – still very attached to mummy and papa (yes we decided the dadi and daddy was way too confusing so it’s going to be papa) He’s turned into an adrenaline junkie and loves being thrown up in the air as well as taken in his pram at lightning speed. He actually laughs his head off!
Whilst in Essen they also celebrated Noemi’s dad’s 70th birthday with a small party. They had great weather.
We were at home for Easter. As I mentioned in my last letter, we’ve had Hitesh’s nephew staying with us for the year as he’s working for a year in London as part of his Uni course.
Whilst most offices were now calling people to go back to work at least a few days a week, he was working from home all the time so it was a busy time for me too, getting lunch and dinner ready. Hitesh and I had got used to just having a full lunch and then not much in the evenings but we had to readjust.
But after Easter we had a trip booked to turkey – originally a week’s tour of Cappadoccia with friends but then another group of friends wanted to book a week’s golf in Turkey a week after our trip to Cappadoccia was finishing so we decided to have a week on our own in between in Turkey rather than fly back and forth.
Cappadoccia was an organised tour – a first was for us and it was great except 4 of us were split from the other 12 into a different coach and we were ok with that initially as we thought we would still see them at the hotels and tourist attractions. But no. The 2 coaches were doing different things at different times and even the hotels weren’t the same. So after 2 days of pleading and negotiating ( Bena and Vipul were in a different coach) , they got 2 other couples to swap and we were finally all together . 16 in our group and then some others. Cappadoccia is really incredible – if you haven’t been, go. And definitely do a hot air balloon ride. Expensive but really worth it. The scenery is incredible – all these geological formations of rocks thousands of years old looking like fairy chimneys, some still inhabited to this day. We also visited underground cities also as well as museums, a caravan resting place that was part of the ancient silk road. It really was a wonderful trip and back in Antalya we booked a hammam and massage for some of us in the group to reenergise. After a week, we said goodbye to the rest of the group. We had booked a night in Antalya and then went to Fethiye and Olu Deniz. Olu Deniz is a paradise for paragliders and it was tempting but seeing a few land in the water was not too comforting and in the end we chickened out. We did however take a trip to Saklikent gorge which was amazing – wading through a fast flowing river to see some more beautiful parts of the gorge. We also did a Jeep safari and we took a boat trip to some of the islands around Olu Deniz. The water was very warm and it was nice to just spend a day or so soaking up the sunshine and swimming in the sea. After a few days , we went back to Antlaya and then to the airport to meet up with our next group to go to Belek for the golf. We were at the Titanic another huge luxurious hotel and it was just walks on the beach , morning yoga, and lots of eating and drinking for the ladies. Oh and I won a darts competition and won a bottle of champagne. The guys were playing golf daily. The weather was beautiful and it just was so relaxing. The evening entertainment was incredible too. We also celebrated Kirit’s birthday in Turkey and went for a lovely Italian meal.
Before we had come to Turkey, I had been asked if I could put my name forward as an Elected member of the Board of Advisors for the Oshwal Association. I was initially very reluctant as I’ve never been involved in any capacity for Oshwal (just volunteered on an ad hoc basis) and was not keen to take on a regular commitment, however I was assured the BOA meetings were generally every 3 months and effectively it’s akin to a non exec position. So I felt that my skill set would be valuable and I put my name forward and whilst we were away in Turkey, I found out that I had been elected. Subsequently at our initial meeting, I was asked to take on the secretarial position which I did. The first few months were relatively quiet but since then it’s been manic.
Meanwhile Nikhil was in Portugal at Quinta da lago with his friends. They were playing golf there and staying at one of his friend’s parents’ villa which was so majestic.- like a palace. He’s really got into his golf.
Arjun and family then went for a weekend in Strasbourg minus Mogli. She’s in capable hands with Nico and they enjoyed the break. Beautiful weather and lovely place to explore.
Also whilst we were away Nikhil resigned from his job at Payment Sense and had negotiated a start date of mid June. He had tried to push it back to after Arjun and Noemi’s wedding celebrations but they wanted him earlier so agreed he could work from abroad. In any case the selling point of this job was the ability to work 45 days a year from anywhere.
Towards the end of April Nikhil went to Fuertaventura for surfing and yoga. The surfing was really hard as the winds were very strong but he had a great break and then came back for a wedding before jetting off again this time to Costa Rica and Guatemala. Costa Rica was beautiful but expensive. Guatemala was incredible and he actually preferred it to Costa Rica. He felt it was less touristy and more authentic; he felt completely safe and some of the places he travelled to were just stunning. For someone who normally doesn’t go wow at a beautiful sight, the volcano trek he did was actually one of the best experiences of his life he said. He also sent videos of him teaching some youngsters in their 20’s how to do front flips and back flips. Something he won’t be doing for a long time himself!
Meanwhile Arjun and Noemi had been looking at houses and had found one in a village about 40 minutes away from the city. It was in the countryside and remote but the fields and hills were just a short walk away so ideal for taking long walks with Mogli. They had put in an offer which had been accepted.
My nephew Naman and family came from India to visit in mid May for a couple of weeks. We had a picnic planned on 15 May but of course the weather let us down so we met at Dilip and Nilam’s house. Their son Tattvam is around 5 and when asked what his favourite thing about the UK , he said it was playing with all his cousins!
Noemi had a hen weekend organised in May and Arjun had asked me if I could go over to help. Actually his first choice had been Nikhil but then Nikhil had resigned from his job and was on his travels! We had a wonderful time – Eliyas was a little clingy but if I picked him up and watched the world go by with him he was quite happy! We had a visit to the village they were planning to buy the house and saw the house from the outside. It was very rural but really picturesque. By the end of the first day , he was feeling quite comfortable with me, so I even offered to have his cot in my room and wake up for his feeds. Arjun was quite impressed that not only did I feed him but also changed him in the middle of the night without waking Arjun up! What can I say, I do have experience of raising 2 kids! And they turned out all right. These youngsters sometimes forget that. So by now Eliyas had started crawling and the flat was definitely not baby proof and it was a challenge to be a step ahead of him.
London was celebrating the Queen’s platinum jubilee in early June with lots of events.- trooping the colour , pageants, thanks giving service. It was nice to just go to London and savour the atmosphere. Meanwhile we were all getting ready for the big wedding celebrations in July. But before that they had a stag weekend in Barcelona, the father’s day weekend. This time Noemi went to her parents. So Hitesh and I went to Regent’s park and then went for a meal.
Nikhil had got tickets for Glastonbury – this time they were glamping – a bit more luxurious but definitely worth it. They were walking something like 40k steps daily but saw acts like Diana ross and Paul Mccartney amongst others. He tried to get tickets for next year and had a whole operation going with 2 or screens etc but no luck for next year.
After this at the end of June Arjun was on paternity leave for 3 months. They went to Majorca on 2nd July, having handed Mogli over to Nico who then was going to do a handover to a dogsitter (who’s studying to be a vet) who will come to Arjun and Noemi’s and dog sit Mogli. We were flying out on 3rd July. Nikhil had already flown to Crete for one of his friend’s wedding and was then coming directly from there to Majorca on 4th july
Arjun had got a finca for all their friends and Nikhil when he came ; we were staying nearby but met a few times to play with Eliyas, Hitesh to play golf and on the Monday 4th July to meet all of Noemi’s family. We had met the parents but not the brothers. Nikhil arrived later on in the evening and it was great to all be together. We had been also been going sight seeing and on Wednesday Bena and family arrived so we went to see them briefly. Thursday we were moving to wedding Finca. That evening Nikhil was going to pick Emma up from the airport. I told him that Hitesh should accompany him but he refused. He ‘s hired cars in many countries and driven at night. Unfortunately that fateful night, about a mile away from the Finca, around a blind corner at 1.30 am , he had a head on collision with another car. His car caught fire and he had to get out of the passenger door as the driver door was jammed. He saw open wounds on both his knees and bits of bone sticking out but luckily he crawled out having the presence of mind to take his phone with him. About 30 seconds later, the car completely caught fire. The other passenger was trapped in his car but luckily his car didn’t catch fire. He texted Emma and sent her his location . She phoned the emergency services who had already been alerted and were on their way. By the time she got there a fire crew was already there with hacksaws trying to free the other passenger; a good Samaritan had Nikhil cradled on her lap and making sure he didn’t lose consciousness. Nikhil asked Emma not to tell us anything until the morning but when Anjul texted to ask if everything as Ok as he had not heard him come back she told him what had happened. He ran down a gravel road in his flip flops and went with Emma and Nikhil in the ambulance. The other guy was trapped free by this time too and taken to a different hospital and reportedly was ok.
We got the news early the next morning when I had a message from Anjul to phone him. Arjun, Hitesh and I rushed straight to the hospital. It was surreal. You never think it’s going to happen to you. But there we were on the morning of Arjun’s wedding celebrations sat around a hospital bed wondering what was going on. Arjun’s first words to him were . ‘Thank you for wanting to live and getting out of that car. I only have 1 brother’ It was so emotional.
We still didn’t know what was going on. Anjul Emma and Arjun speak Spanish but it’s difficult to have a grasp of the medical terms. He was going to have surgery but it was unclear as to the extent of his injuries. Anjul ever optimistic, thought he would have the surgery on Friday and be discharged on Saturday in time for the wedding ceremony. Sadly this wasn’t the case. Anjul and Emma had not had any sleep so they went back with Hitesh and Arjun. I hung around the hospital. Nikhil was in and out due to the strong drugs they were giving him. He was very emotional and was worried he would never walk again. I told him to have faith in the Navkar mantra and that’s all I did at the hospital.
Hitesh came back and we just sat there waiting to hear but could get no information out of them. We had managed to get in touch with the GP surgery in the UK so knew what his vaccination status was. At around 4pm Anna (Noemi’s friend) who is a doctor came and Aasha also who’s fluent in Spanish. Between them, after taking to the nurses etc , they ascertained that the left leg was not broken; just the right knee patella. So it wasn’t as serious , hence the operation hadn’t taken place yet. The operation was due to take place later on in the day. We had Arjun and Noemi’s drinks and canapes in Palma in the evening. Nikhil ever selfless, insisted we go. Emma said she would stay with Nikhil. So we went and it was an absolutely stunning venue; all the canapes were vegan. They really had put in so much effort in organising this. Friends of Nikhil and Arjun hadn’t yet heard the news and were shocked to hear. But we were so thankful that Nikhil was alive and his injuries were not life threatening.
We had a lovely celebration and Nikhil and Emma were getting regular photos and videos. In turn they were keeping us informed as to what was going on and we found out he had been taken into theatre around 6.30pm.
We went back around 10pm and he had just come back from theatre. He was conscious and we had a short chat. We debated what to do about the best man’s speech. He wasn’t feeling up to it and I was saying he should record it as someone else delivering it would not be same.
After about an hour, we left him and promised to return the next morning.
The wedding ceremony was starting around 1.30 pm and before that Noemi had her hair dressing appointment. But Arjun Noemi and Eliyas still made time to go and visit Nikhil around 7.30 in the morning. It was so touching. Eliyas was crawling on Nikhil wondering why he wasn’t picking him up.
We visited a little later and stayed till around 10 am. Then we changed and got dressed for the wedding. The finca was looking amazing. There was a nice drinks area set up, the photographer had arrived and was taking photos. Eliyas and Arjun were looking cool in matching white linen shirt and trousers. We were yet to have a glimpse of Noemi. The weather was hot so we were all given fans and there were also parasols around. They really had thought of everything. But where the wedding ceremony was due to take place was actually very cool. It was set a little higher and we had a beautiful view of the surrounding area and there was a nice cool breeze.
And just before the ceremony Eliyas fell asleep. Matilda and Phillipa, Noemi’s nieces were the flower girls and then Noemi walked in with her father. She looked radiant and happy. Dan Arjun’s friend was conducting the humanist ceremony. He had been seen practising earlier and he conducted it beautifully, having committed it all to memory. We had a reading by Veronika Noemi’s mum, a passage on Marriage by Kahlil Gibran; Phillip her brother read the English translation. I read out a poem I’d written on marriage. Even Eliyas had a speech prepared about love! He woke up just as Dan was reading that. Noemi and Arjun took their vows and then the siblings / cousins tied the ribbons. In between we had live music and beautiful singing and then we finished with Bob Marley’s ‘Is this love?
We had got a zoom link going for Nikhil to be able to watch it from the hospital.
We had drinks and mingling. I had made some vegan barfis to celebrate the occasion and we served that when the drinks were being served.
Then it was time to chill and mingle before the dinner. To break up the speeches ,Anna, Noemi’s maid of honour gave a speech during the drinks all in English. The Germans are really bilingual. We had a lot of children and the singer also entertained them with ‘baby shark’ one of Ishaan’s favourite songs! Noemi also thanked everyone for coming over and being a part of this amazing day – we had guests from the US and Uganda as well as the UK and Germany. And she remembered Nikhil who was nearby and yet so far. Bittersweet memories!
And so to the dinner and speeches. The dinner was alfresco quite casual – all vegan bar one of the ice cream desserts. It was delicious. Noemi’s dad’s speech was also in English and it’s a shame but I don’t think we have a recording of his speech. And then we had Nikhil’s speech. He had recorded it and sent over the audio and they played it on their sound system. Honestly it felt as if he was there. It was so touching , funny and yet emotional. Yes not a dry eye in the crowd. Arjun’s speech was so moving too. He didn’t have a prepared speech , just some notes. And some of it he delivered in German! But again it was lovely. I was so proud to see this boy who it’s fair to say had challenged me growing up now become such a sweet kind caring mature man.
And so the celebrations continued. Emma went to the hospital to keep Nikhil company. The evening celebrations kicked off with dancing around the pool and towards midnight quite a lot of people ended up in the pool including Arjun Noemi and Hitesh. It was great and quite a few people commented on how relaxed and enjoyable the whole day had been. We had midnight snacks as well as the dinner had been quite early.
The next morning, we went to the hospital early to see Nikhil. He said the surgeon seemed to think he would be discharged by Monday. He and Emma had a flight scheduled on Monday morning and it seemed the surgeon was saying he would be ok to fly.
Noemi lead a yoga class around 11 which was really good. Arjun wanted to join too but Eliyas was proving a bit of a distraction for the class so he took him away. Afterwards there was a pool party and lunch. Quite a few people who had said they would come were nursing hangovers and skipped the lunch.
The pool party was great – very relaxed and we had paella and lots of canapes.A lot of people hung around till quite late. It was Anjul’s birthday and Seeta had booked a pizza place. Shobs , Anjul’s wife was not able to come for the wedding but had made it on Sunday morning. Afterwards, Emma Arjun Eliyas Hitesh and I went to the hospital and we met the surgeon, who confirmed that everything had gone well and he was due to be discharged the next day.
And so he was discharged the following day. However he was not allowed to bend his knee so although he was allowed to fly he needed to keep his leg straight. A lot of chatting with BA who assured us this would be accommodated. We were due to fly back on Thursday but Emma told us that she would take care of him at his flat which has a lift. At the airport however, the lady at the desk was adamant that there were no other seats available . A lot of discussions ensued , with a passenger behind him even offering his business class seat free but of course she said they were not allowed to change seats like that. No customer service at all and they refused to even see the chat transcripts. Finally her supervisor came and then somehow they magically found a seat charging him around £180. The flight itself was uneventful if a little painful and after getting to Heathrow , they managed to find suitable taxi to take them to mile end via Emma’s place so she could pick up her stuff. Finally got to Mile end around 1.30 am and due to some miscommunication about the key and the key fob to enter the building, the key to the flat broke as Emma tried to use that to enter the building. A few hours later and at the cost of a few hundred pounds, the locksmith finally got them in! Such an ordeal. But Nikhil was happy he was finally home.
We came back a few days later and I went to Mile end on Friday and stayed there a few days. He was getting more and more mobile and able to do things with his crutches. Hitesh had meanwhile been clearing the downstairs room and so we both came home a few days later. We now had Bhavini’s wedding celebrations starting from 26 July. The celebrations were kicking off with a pizza party on 26 July for which we had done the bases and sauce a couple of days earlier. The marquee had already been put up and she was having all the celebrations apart from the wedding ceremony itself at home.
Just a few days earlier Kilu had advised that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. This was shocking news. Kilu leads the yoga sessions in the mornings and is one of calmest person I know. It just shows how life can take a strange and devastating turn at any minute. But she was very positive about it all and took it as part of the journey she has to go through. We also found out in July that Jantibhai, my cousin Ansuya’s husband had got Covid. He thought he would be able to fight it at home but was then taken to hospital and then became very seriously ill. He was quite strong and having been triple vaccinated we didn’t envisage he would struggle to shake it off. But unfortunately he got worse and then passed away on 23 July. It was devastating news for the family especially as he was the primary carer for Ansuya who suffers from dementia. The family had to make the difficult decision of bringing her to the UK from Kenya. Luckily her carer Anita also agreed to come leaving her 7 year old son behind and help look after her.
From Majorca, Arjun and family had also flown home on Monday evening and then they were due to come to the UK a few days later by car and travelling to the cotswolds and the lake district before coming home for the celebrations. They arrived on 26 July as well and it was great to see Eliyas, now crawling everywhere and grabbing everything in sight. Arjun had warned us about this so the bottom shelf of the trophy cabinet had been temporarily cleared out.
He also figured out how to climb up the stairs. And his crawl was like a bear crawl so he doesn’t get all dirty. Or maybe he’s just learned that from Mogli! It requires a lot of upper body strength.
The pizza party was a great success. There were around 100 people there so it was challenging to make sure that all were getting the pizzas they were ordering. It was hectic but we delivered. The marquee worked really well and even the garden at the back was well utilised. Next up was Brett’s stag do (as the marquee was already there, he had his do there for about 50 guys) for which he had again ordered jiko pizzas but we did get told by a few people that the pizzas were not as good as ours!
The mehndi party was on Thursday and both Noemi and Arjun took part in the cousins dance. There were quite a few dances and the skit was funny except Ishaan got a little scared with the masks his mum and dad were wearing. Friday was the wedding ceremony at Harrow school – climbing up the narrow stairs was quite challenging for Nikhil – he looked like Quasimodo. But he made it and it was a lovely ceremony followed by an afternoon tea at home in the marquee. Throughout all the celebrations Mogli had been left at home but she had been as good as gold. Once she’s had her exercise she’s pretty happy to chill especially in the summer. Brett had asked me to recite a poem so I recited one that I had written for Arjun’s wedding in 2020 (the one that we couldn’t attend) and had added an extra verse. Lots of people were surprised I had written this! They thought it was something I had found so that was kind of a compliment.
Saturday evening was the day of the reception. We had been really lucky with the weather and it held up for Saturday night too. Nikhil was also on the dance floor with his crutches me looking on worriedly in case he lost his footing and fell.
Sunday we all crashed at home except for Arjun and Hitesh who had gone early to Surrey quays to clean the flat there as the tenants had moved out.
It had been a busy and eventful July. Nikhil was now ready to go back to his flat – he’d become more and more independent and was able to do most things himself. He had an appointment with the surgeon in the UK on Monday who advised the physio would start in a couple of weeks and gradually he would be bending more and within 6- 9 months would be back to normal. This sounded promising. We had skiing booked in March so as long as he was fit for that, we were happy – I was happy.
Arjun and family left a couple of days later. It had been great having them but now they needed to be back to sort out all the admin for their new house. They were scheduled to complete in August.
August was fairly quiet but they completed on the house. They were planning to move a few weeks later and so it was packing time again. Every time Mogli visited the new house, it was hard to get her back in the car! And so they moved to their new house and wanted us to visit. Nikhil would have loved to go but he was still having issues bending his leg. They went to Brussels and Bruges instead in September on Eurostar.
We went to visit in September and it was lovely. Arjun had a few jobs lined up for Hitesh and I was tasked with making apple stew with all the apples from the garden! But it was great. We went on a few hikes and the views are stunning. Mogli was happy. Eliyas had lotos of room and was loving crawling up the stairs. Still hadn’t figured out how to come down. Noemi had been offered a promotion whilst on maternity leave and they wanted her to come back to work in November rather than January. She agreed on an 80% basis and luckily they had already found a nursery in the next village where he had been accepted.
Nikhil and Emma went to visit in early October. They were both working from Frankfurt so didn’t take any holidays but still managed to spend some quality time with Arjun and Noemi and Eliyas. They’ve taught him how to do cheers with his milk bottle!
With the nursery they were going to start him on a gradual basis from October. However it was a bit of a challenge. Normally so inquisitive, this boy had become extremely clingy to the point where he cried the whole time he was there. It was proving very difficult. We said it would take time as both of them had been home so he was really only used to seeing them.
But eventually he did settle and now goes in without a fuss.
Arjun had finished his paternity leave of 3 months and was also back at work. Working 2 days from home but the others from the office. The wifi has been surprisingly good whilst working from home but the journey into work was taking a long time. And so in November he finally succumbed to getting a 2nd car which cuts the journey time about 40 mins.
They had promised to come to the UK for Diwali and because Arjun had already started work again and Eliyas was still getting used to the nursery, they just came on Friday 22 Oct to Sunday 24th October. No big celebration this time, we just had the family at home and I had made a traditional gujarati dinner. Then they all went to Box park Wembley to celebrate Nikhil’s birthday. Sunday afternoon they were flying off and we dropped them to Heathrow. About 7 hours later we got a message that they were still on the runway. Initially there was a delay with the planes, then the plane couldn’t take off as there were fierce storms in the UK then something else. Eventually about 10pm we got a message that the flight was cancelled and could we come and collect them. So Hitesh rushed there only to find he was waiting for them to still come out. A couple of hours later it transpired that BA had lost Eliyas’s car seat. Or sent it on to the next flight. Around midnight Hitesh was trying to find a car seat but all the rental car companies were shut. So I rang Bena but the car seat they have is for Ishaan so too big for Eliyas. So I rang Aasha and Sunil came at midnight to pick me up with Anya’s car seat and we went to Heathrow. Finally they arrived home around 1.30 am and they had booked a flight to Cologne the next day at 9 am so an early start. As soon as the flight was announced as cancelled, the prices for a flight to Frankfurt had trebled and there was nothing available in the morning. Arjun was working so decided to book a flight to Cologne and then take a train from there. Luckily Noemi’s parents were dogsitting Mogli and were able to stay the extra night. But it was a nightmare. Eliyas was the only one oblivious to all the drama and at 10pm when he saw Hitesh and later me, stretched out his hands to us! Arjun and Noemi on the other hand were tired and said they were done with flying for some time!
We were due to go to the US to see Hitesh’s brother Harshad and his family as well as my sister Niru and her family on 16 November. Eliyas was going to be 1 on 14 November which was a Monday so we had booked on the assumption that any celebration would take place on 12th or 13th. However, for Germans it is a faux pas to celebrate birthdays early. So we booked to go to Germany on 12th and come back on 14th night so we could see him on his birthday. He was getting a big party on the 19th.
It was great – this little baby was starting to recognise us and Noemi and Arjun even left us alone with him whilst they went shopping. He was fine for a while. Noemi was quite ill so we were trying to give her some rest and on Sunday, I took him to the park by myself. He was crying so much that I’m sure the hikers we met en route were half suspecting that I had kidnapped him. He stopped as soon as we were in the playground and was actually enjoying himself.
Noemi had baked a vegan cake for his birthday and decorated the kitchen with balloons and presents. In the morning she laid out a spread and when we brought him down , we sang happy birthday to him. Of course he didn’t understand what all the fuss was about but he was thoroughly enjoying playing with the balloons and the wrapping papers from the presents!
And he was allowed to have a bit of his cake which he loved. I think that’s the first time he’s been given anything with sugar!
And then it was time for nursery, where he they also sang him happy birthday and gave him a book.
We left in the evening and luckily there were no issues with our flight back. We then had a day to get organised for our trip to the US.
Noemi’s family came down the following weekend and they had a nice birthday party and walks and chilling. Looked hectic with 4 kids there but Eliyas seemed to be enjoying the party.
Meanwhile Nikhil was having regular physio sessions and the bend was improving gradually but not as quickly as everyone had hoped. The physio was convinced he should get an MRI done as he knew how hard Nikhil was working and how painful it was proving. Nikhil wanted to get away and go to warm place and decided on Malta. He went by himself on 9 November and was coming back on the 16th but we would miss him. He enjoyed Malta – it was warm and sunny and he managed to get some sight seeing done.
After he came back he saw the surgeon who then recommended an key hole surgery to ascertain what was going on.
However he got persuaded to seek a 2nd opinion and subsequently he also got a 3rd opinion.
So we finally arrived in the US. It had been over 7 years since we had last been and it was so nice to see Sandhya, ,Harshad and Shreya as well as Ansuyaben and Mahadevbhai. We had booked to go to Hilton Head with Harshad and Sandhya for a week and tried to persuade the others to join us, but Mahadevbhai and Ansuyaben are done with travelling. Shreya was going to see what her work schedule was like. Hilton Head was very relaxing – a beach resort with lots of golf course. Harshad had booked for him and Hitesh to play daily, even though he was working. Both him and Sandhya were. There were lots of other activities in the resort and I just enjoyed walking on the beach as well. The weather was dry; it wasn’t that warm but it was pleasant. It was great to chill and catch up with them.
En route to Hilton Head we went to see Shreya’s law college at Mercer. She had been editor in chief there and we saw her office as well as the rest of the law school. The current editor in chief spoke extremely highly of her. The day before we left for Hilton Head she had taken us on a tour of her offices in Atlanta – she has her own office!
We left Hilton Head on Friday afternoon ( a couple of days early) as Shreya had booked a college football game for us on Saturday. En route we stopped at Savannah which was a very pretty place but stepped in slave trade history. Shreya had not come to Hilton Head in the end as she was now a mum to 2 rescue puppies. She had registered and suddenly out of the blue she got a call. So we came back to Atlanta with gates on stairs and gates to block off certain areas. Sandhya had a couple of hours to get up to speed as she was going to have to take care of the puppies, Maui and Maisal on Saturday.
The game was at midday on Saturday and it was going to take us 90 mins to get there, but we left at around 6.30 am to avoid the traffic and get a parking spot as well as see her first university (University of Georgia ) where the game was taking place. It was an incredible atmosphere. This was college football not even NFL but there was so much razzmatazz. I’m not sure I fully followed the football which seemed a very stop start affair but the cheerleaders and the live bands added to a very enjoyable experience.
We had a lazy day on Sunday and then on Monday we were driving to Virgina to see Raju and family. It was over 700 miles and we had decided to stop at Asheville in North Carolina and the Roanoke. Both places are part of the blue ridge mountains and there were some wonderful hiking routes with cascading waterfalls.
We arrived at Raju’s on Wednesday and Niru was already there. It was lovely to see her and Jainam and Devika. They live very near DC so the next day we drove to DC with Niru and walked around visiting the museums and Capitol hill and the White house. On Friday we went to the Great falls park. Raju had said we would do pizza on Friday night so I had made the dough in the morning and we made the bases and toppings in the evening and cooked them in his pizza oven outside. We had a firepit going so whilst it was quite cold it was actually really warm by the fire. The pizzas were great . Afterwards we were taught a new game phase 10 which we really enjoyed playing. Devika made some chocolate and peanut butter brownies that were delicious.
On Saturday, we went for a short walk around the neighbourhood and popped by to say hello to Monica’s sister Anupa who only lives a few minutes away. In the afternoon we went to support Jainam who was playing basketball for his school. Sadly they lost! After dinner we again played phase 10 and were given a pack to take away and remember them when we play. It had been a wonderful few days and have told Jainam and Devika to come to the UK in the summer holidays and persuade dadima to come too. Let’s hope Niru comes. Sunday morning we wanted to have an early start as we were only stopping for 1 night en route and wanted to also go and see the natural bridge state park- where there is a natural bridge that is over 500 million years old! It was astounding.
We then stopped at Knoxville near the Smoky mountains and then in the morning headed back to Atlanta.
We arrived back on Monday afternoon and were due to fly back on Tuesday evening. Shreya told us that she had a swearing in ceremony at the Georgia supreme court on Tuesday morning and asked us if we wanted to attend. All of us attended. The puppies were left in individual cages for a few hours. It really was an honour to visit such an august building and with all 12 supreme court judges in situ. We also got to hear a bit of an appeal. The lawyer was given 30 minute and after a few minutes of speaking he kept being bombarded with questions from the panel of judges. It was really intimidating! But so very proud of Shreya!
We said goodbye to the others after the supreme court swearing in ceremony as they wanted to rush back and check up on the puppies. Harshad Hitesh and I went for lunch at a Mexican place before he dropped us at the airport. It had been a wonderful trip.
Whilst we were away Nikhil and Emma went to Cornwall for a few days and then went to see Keval and Seeta at Exmouth. Even though he’s in pain he’s managing to do everything. He’s even got an exercise bike to strengthen his legs.
He has now seen 2 other surgeons for their opinions and it turns out that a part of his femur bone is missing. A further CT scan appears to show that it is lodged on the outside of his knee so he is now scheduled to have a few procedures including cartilage and bone grafting on 5th January to hopefully sort this out. However it is likely that his skiing, squash and footballing days may be over. Initially devastated, he is slowly coming to accept this but we pray that he makes a full recovery. It is incredible though that the first surgeon missed this critical issue and 6 months have been wasted. After he had a blood test, he was then told his Vitamin D levels were really low and was given a prescription for a 140,000 iu. No chemist could source it and Manishbhai from Sigma advised that I get a pack of 20,000 iu and he take 7 of those. The surgeon agreed with taking the Vitamin d like this and so Nikhil has taken the required amount. Let’s hope this resolves his Vitamin D issues and operation takes place as scheduled.
Meanwhile Arjun and Noemi were hosting lots of visitors in December. Aasha and family went for a weekend in early December; Bhavini and Brett went the week after and the following week which was Christmas week , they hosted Noemi’s family. They all enjoyed it as the place has a holiday feel about it. From the videos, it appears Eliyas quite enjoyed all the visitors. He’s now walking everywhere and getting into everything.
So whilst their Christmas was hectic, ours was quite sedate. My Dinuben’s husband, Rasikbanevi had been slowly going downhill over the last few years and was admitted to hospital in mid December and passed away on 20 December. He was 84 years old and had lived a good life – working hard initially but last few years they had travelled a fair amount before he going downhill. We have also had a few friends dad or mum passing away.
On Christmas eve for brunch we met at Mina’s and it was great to catch up with them all. For Christmas it was just Nikhil and us 2. It has been such a hectic year that it was really nice to just enjoy quality time with him rather than worry about entertaining.
In mid Jan we are due to go to India for a month; and then in March skiing. Nikhil can baby sit Eliyas whilst the rest of us ski!
Here’s hoping that you all have a very happy healthy and peaceful new year and that all your plans and dreams come to fruition in 2023
Hasmita Shah 