We saw off 2017 in style by going to see the Nutcracker at the Royal Albert Hall in the afternoon on New Year’s eve, with my 2 sisters, Manjula, Bena and our respective husbands. It was just such a beautiful ballet performance, it left us breathless. The evening was spent with friends welcoming the New Year which we were all looking forward to. 

2018 started off with so much promise – we were finally going to get our loft extension done , Arjun was planning to take a sabbatical for 6 months and travel, we were going on a cruise of the Norwegian fjords with Hitesh’s family to celebrate his sister Mina and husband Rahul’s 60^th birthdays,and we were going to be welcoming a bonanza of babies within our extended family as Manjula’s daughter Kavita was expecting her 2^nd child, Dilip my cousin was eagerly awaiting the birth of first grandchildren, as both his daughter Khilna and his daughter in law Shuchi were expecting this year. To cap it all we also had news that my cousin’s son Naman and wife Rupal in Mumbai were also expecting their first child. 

Little did we anticipate that amongst all these exciting plans, we were going to face a tragedy of epic proportions, losing Manjula aged just 65. As I mentioned, we had been to see the nutcracker together and we were all enthralled. There was no sense of foreboding that this was to be our last outing together. She was fighting fit at the beginning of the year and looking forward to welcoming her 2^nd grandchild. I had even gone to her on 13 January to help her make chakris and pendas to take to Manchester with her. They went a couple of days later and Robin was born on 17 January. They stayed on in Manchester a couple of weeks and after she came down she had asked us all to go for pendas to celebrate Robin’s birth. She was probably not feeling great but it was when my cousins’ went to see her that she expressed she was not well and went upstairs. We all put it down to flu and being tired from the trip up to Manchester. 

A few trips to the doctor and hospital yielded nothing – they thought it was a urinary tract infection or may be constipation. It was only 4 weeks later that she was diagnosed with aortic aneurism and an abdominal aortic aneurism due to a severely infected aorta. By this time it was coming towards the end of February and she had been taken in hospital in Whipps Cross but then was transferred to Whitechapel. It was here that we were told that the infection was so severe that there was no possibility of even operating on the aneurisms and to call the family. We were in shock. I had only seen her that afternoon at the hospital and she looked much better than she had at home! To cap it all the weather had taken a turn for the worse and we were experiencing a snowstorm. Nonetheless, Vijay came from Oxford, Kavita and family from Manchester, Uttam from LA and Niru my eldest sister from Baltimore. Manjula was in good spirits and we told her she could fight this. There was no way that she was going to succumb to a stupid infection. And she did! We prayed and she prayed and we all hoped for a miracle and we got one. The antibiotics worked and the infection cleared such that they could now think about operating. She was slowly getting better and I clearly remember walking with her round the ward slowly on 12 March. She was due to have her 1^st operation on 15 March, with the 2^nd scheduled for 22 March. We resolved we would fight this and we had every reason to be confident. The operations were going to be long and risky (10-14 hours each) but she had been otherwise fit and healthy. She was the one amongst us who was always having healthy food, was a holistic therapist so we believed that the operations would be a success. We were scheduled to go skiing on 18 March and I even thought I would be able to visit her on 16 or 17 March. 

The operation on 15^th March was deemed to be a success but it was going to be a while before the anaesthetic wore off as it had been such a long operation. So I never saw her before we went skiing. 

During the week, she still hadn’t come round but the 2^nd operation was scheduled to go ahead on 22 March as there was a leakage from the aneurism plus the doctor who was doing the operation was scheduled to go abroad to do some charity work. 

The surgeries were risky and in fact this doctor was the only doctor in the country willing to carry out the operations. Even though she had not woken up from her first operation, it was perceived that the 1^st surgery had gone well. After the 2^nd operation , she was still unconscious but we were told it was a matter of time. She didn’t seem to respond to our voice, not turning her head to where the voices were coming from, but physically it seemed as if she was improving. They had been worried about the kidneys being damaged but it looked like the kidneys were functioning and there were slight movements in her legs. These signs were positive so we focussed on these and kept encouraging her, playing her music, praying with her, talking to her. After a few weeks of no response and after the neurologist had assessed her, the diagnosis was that she was brain damaged and likely blind. It appeared her brain may have been deprived of oxygen for a while. This was devastating news but the surgeon said he had seen cases worse than her recover so we continued remain positive. She had had the surgery at St Barts and had been in their critical care section for a while but now that it appeared there was nothing more they could do for her, she was transferred to Queens hospital in Romford. She was at Queens for a few weeks after which they were trying get her either to Putney hospital or Northwick Park which both specialised in care for patients with neurological difficulties.  Whilst Putney was a much more aesthetically pleasing hospital, I was hoping that she would be transferred to Northwick Park which is at our doorstep. 

Well she was transferred to Northwick Park towards the end of June – it meant we could visit her daily rather 2-3 times a week and that Mahesh could come and eat at mine or Bena’s. They again assessed her and confirmed the brain damage was irreversible, she was blind and physically she would not be able to do anything for herself. She was being fed by a tube, she was not always able to breathe by herself and she was on a drip. She would have hated to be stuck like this. Whilst it was good that we could visit her on a daily basis, it was also very depressing to see her in this condition everyday. We had to face the reality that she was unlikely to recover from this. It seems we had already used up our miracle in getting rid of the infection. 

Nonetheless, Mahesh continued to do everything for her, reading and playing music for her, talking to her and even taking her outside in the Northwick park hospital grounds when the weather was hot. But we all knew her days were numbered and on Monday 30 July, she breathed her last. Having accepted that she was not going to recover from this, we were initially relived that her suffering had only lasted a few months, but this relief soon turned to grief and sadness when it hit us that we had lost a sister, a wife, a mother, a grandmother, an aunt, a friend and more importantly a beautiful human being, taken away before her time. Her sadadi and funeral were a testament to her legacy, the eulogies were spoken from the heart and the number of people she had touched over the years who had come to pay their respects. She would have been amazed! Hard to believe that she has gone, she is still in our hearts and minds and we think of her daily, sometimes with sadness, sometimes with joy, sometimes with anger, sometimes with hurt, but always with fondness at the memories we created together. 

Of course life was happening and carrying on as normal whilst everything was going on with Manjula. 

Early on in the New year, on January 7, Khilna, my cousin Dilip’s daughter had a baby boy , Dylan. He was 4 weeks early and she had to have an emergency caesarean due to complications but luckily everything turned out ok. 

Arjun went skiing for a weekend in January with friends and ended up being snowed in in Austria. He then had to make his own way back via coach taxi and plane. He’s missed a few flights this year – more of that later!

He was thinking about taking a sabbatical or quitting to travel the world but hadn’t mentioned it at work and then was told that he was selected for the VIP programme, a 1 year programme with the highlight being a trip to New York in April. He was thrilled about being chosen but felt it was the decent thing to let his bosses know that he was thinking of taking a sabbatical for 6 months and so to give the VIP programme place to someone else. He was told to think about it and put away his resignation and in the end he got on the VIP programme as well as managing to get his 6 months sabbatical after a few months of hard bargaining! He was thrilled. 

Other things of note that happened in January included us going to the royal festival hall for a Johann Strauss concert – absolutely magical, seeing Lumiere as well as the canary wharf lights – stunning, and Nikhil and Arjun going to the cirque du soleil – mesmerising. 

As mentioned we also celebrated the birth of Kavita’s baby Robin, as well as Khilna’s son Dylan and also celebrated my cousin Dinuben’s husband Banevi’s 80^th birthday, as well as Bharti hosting a celebration for Mina and Rahul’s 60^th birthday. 

Oh yes and one of Nikhil’s friends was in the ‘SAS Who dares Wins’ and a group of them were watching the series together, taking it in turns. Nikhil hosted on 14 January and I offered to make a vegan cheesecake for them which went down a treat along with the rest of the vegan meal which Nikhil cooked. 

Whilst Arjun was skiing and subsequently snowed in, we hosted a ski meeting and lunch for our forthcoming skiing trip in March – 13 of us going and apart from Hitesh and I, everyone else is under 30! Should we be worried? 4 of them are beginners so hopefully we should be ok. 

The end of January also saw the death of our faithful boiler of the last 20+ years. We had intended to replace it around March time before we started with our loft extension in April. Why couldn’t it have lasted a couple more months? Maybe it was upset about being replaced. So we started February without any heating – well we had a few electric heaters to keep us warm but the weather had become so chilly. 

In early February Nikhil and Arjun were playing in a squash tournament at the RAC club in Mayfair and told us we should come and watch if only to see the club. It amazing to see such a beautiful place right in the heart of the city – the foyer has a classic car and they have drawing rooms and reading rooms with ornate fireplaces and chandeliers. Not having seen them play for some years it was also exciting to watch them. Nikhil unfortunately lost in the 1^st round and Arjun in the 2^nd round but Nikhil then went to play in the plate where he got to the finals. 

The plumbers came to replace the boiler and put in a megaflo system on the 12 February – it was going to take them 3 days as they needed to also put in some pipes for the loft extension. On 14 February, they inadvertently cut off one of the main electric cables, so now we had no heating no lights and no hot water. Luckily the cooking had been done so it was dinner by candlelight! Appropriate for Valentines day

The main electricity supply guys finally came around 10pm dug the front of the house but couldn’t find the main cable and so left a gaping hole and promised to return in the morning. I packed my bags and went off to Bena’s for the night but Hitesh stayed put. The next day there was a lot of going back and forth from different departments of the power suppliers and they made us (actually our boiler replacement guy using our neighbour’s electricity supply) dig through the front porch tiles and a lot of cement to find the main cable whilst they all 4 of them sat in a white van parked outside our house! No luck there either trying to find the cable. Finally Hitesh took out the wood flooring and lo and behold underneath was the main cable. Success finally and the electricity was restored around 4 pm. 

It had only been a day without electricity but it had been a nightmare- no hot water no lights! It makes you appreciate how we take these things totally for granted. 

Finally we had a new boiler the next day and it was so nice to get the central heating working. Ah the comforts of modern life!

For my birthday on 16 February Nikhil had taken a half day and organised for us to go to the Escape room. Hitesh was at the dentist, so Nikhil was stuck with 3 ladies, Bena , Kilu and myself. Our task was to prevent London from being blown up by terrorists but I’m afraid we failed. It was good fun though. We then went to the science museum for a VR space descent with Tim Peake – this was really enjoyable. 

In the evening Nikhil had booked the Pizza express jazz club to see Motown Live Revue, where Aasha and Sunil also joined us. The band was fantastic, in a fairly intimate venue and it was a fantastic evening. Everyone was on their feet dancing to the melodious sounds of those Motown superstars from yesteryear. It was an unforgettable day and night – thanks Nikhil!

But we had more unforgettable moments to come as the next day I had booked for us all to go and watch Shen Yun, a Chinese performing arts company performing some of the best dazzling, sublime and visually stunning dances with so many performers and a live orchestra. It was truly magical, with more than a little dig at the Chinese authorities who have banned this company from performing in China.  

Hitesh had his birthday on 21 February but as Mahesh had to go up North. I had offered to look after Manjula and stay over. I kept making her feel guilty saying it was Hitesh’s birthday and I was babysitting her and she kept apologising and saying she really didn’t feel well. She’s not been properly diagnosed at this stage and it was only over the weekend that she was finally admitted into hospital and later diagnosed with an infected aorta and aortic aneurisms.

In March, Nikhil Hitesh and I had entered an Oshwal racket sports tournament; Arjun was in Berlin for early birthday celebrations so didn’t take part. Nikhil won the squash in style and came runners up in the badminton singles; Hitesh won the over 40s badminton singles and I won the ladies over 40’s badminton although there were only 2 of us in the ladies. Come on you ladies we need more of you to take part! More than the competition though, it was so good seeing all the familiar faces and catching up with so many people after a long time.

The next week, 18 March on Arjun’s birthday we went skiing. This time we were splashing out and going all inclusive with Club Med. The 4 of us, my niece Aasha and her husband Sunil, Hitesh’s niece Seeta and nephew Anjul, my cousin’s son Paras and wife Reena, Nikhil’s friend Hari and girlfriend Leini and Arjun’s friend Dan. Paras Reena Sunil and Leini were beginners, but this time we were all going to have lessons as they were included in the package. Nikhil was sceptical and only agreed to try for half a day but they also found they were being challenged with the off piste skiing that they were discovering around La plagne so they ended up going for the lessons. Aasha Seeta Dan Hitesh and I were in the same group a high intermediate class and we learnt a lot from our instructor Arnaud who took us on challenging reds blacks and off piste too. The beginners didn’t fare too well as they learnt at different paces and should have been split after a couple of days. The food was decent (5 of us vegan and they made us a special vegan cake ) and the location was great. We enjoyed it so much,  we have booked again for next year at the same place! I wrote a comprehensive review and this has been posted on the Club med Aime la Plagne page!  

Of course it was at this time that Manjula had had her first operation and due for the 2^nd so whilst during the day it was easy to forget about what was going on as you’re concentrating on the skiing, the evenings brought it all back especially when we phoned home and everyday the response was the same, that she had still to wake up. 

In January, we had agreed on 3^rd April for our loft conversion to start so it was all systems go once we came back from the skiing holiday as Hitesh and I were busy moving stuff from the loft punctuated by hospital visits. The main builder, Bekim was Kosovan, a big burly man who could be quite intimidating if you didn’t agree with him. He had fought for his country and shot people so you didn’t want to cross paths with him but actually he was very helpful and knowledgeable and was very good at his job. Our neighbour who is a pain at the best of times, tried to stop him working at one point and bore the brunt of his wrath. He never bothered Bekim again. 

It was not ideal having this work done at this juncture with Manjula critically ill and me going to the hospital every other day. Hitesh ended up running around for the builders getting stuff, and making decisions. It was a really stressful few months.

Arjun went to New York  for his VIP programme and managed to impress the executives there. He just seems to have the knack of being able to talk to everyone no matter how senior or junior they are and is able to connect with everyone. Even I’m flabbergasted sometimes and wonder where he got that from. I just can’t remember when the sulky little boy grew up to turn into this charming young man!

In early May we had yet another addition to the family when Hinesh’s (my cousin Dilip’s son) wife Suchi gave birth to Aarav. Prior to that, my cousin in India, Dilipbhai;s son, Naman and wife Rupal had a baby boy Tatvam. 4 additions, 4 boys! Maybe there’s something in the water. 

Hitesh had his annual golf trip to Turkey towards the end of May. He already had 24 golfers and then Harshad his brother from the US joined them so it was 25. They all had a fantastic time as usual – playing golf everyday, living in a 5 star all inclusive luxury resort , perfect weather, beautiful sea, no nagging from the wives – what’s not to like! 

Whilst Hitesh was in Turkey, my nephew Raju and niece Meena came from the US to visit Manjula and spend a few days with Manjula. By this time she had been transferred from Barts to Queen in Romford. Raju especially considered Manjula his 2^nd mum and spent many a summer holiday here with Manjula’s family and seeing her in this state was really traumatic. 

Also at this time, Stuti my niece from Mumbai was her was well as her fiancée and Bena organised a picnic at Hampstead Heath so that everyone could meet Stuti and Akshay as well as Raju and Meena.  

We had a great turnout and luckily the weather held off although it had poured the night before!

The pizza express Jazz club was having the Motown revue live band again in May and this time we got a much bigger group together with Bena’s family and also Hitesh’s sister Mina’s family, as well as Arjun joining us and Ha-na, Nikhil’s girlfriend. It was great but not the same. Those of us who had seen them the 1^st time were a little disappointed that the main singer Charles who had been so charismatic was missing. Still it was a wonderful evening and great to spend an evening out with the family. 

Nikhil and Ha-na were going to the Phillipines at the beginning of June, before Ha-na started a new job. By the time the holiday came round Nikhil was also going to be moving jobs. It is the hurricane season but they felt that the islands they were visiting would not be affected. They were ok for a few days but then the full force of the storms hit them such that they could not get fly from the island to go to another island or get to the mainland. They were stuck for a few days and then had to contend with taking boats and cars to get to the mainland so they could catch their plane back. All this whilst both were suffering from a stomach bug.  Nikhil had also had some skin infection earlier. Not the best holiday!

As Nikhil was starting his new job a few weeks later, he decided to go to the Baltic States, Slovenia and Croatia and Poland. He had a lovely time in the Baltic states and was amazed at the variety of vegan food available – after this the food in Slovenia and Croatia was disappointing he felt and expensive but both beautiful places. He also had a few days in Poland and went to Krakow and met up with my cousin’s daughter Dhwani and Mehul. He visited Aushwitz, one of the most harrowing places he has been to and the salt mines which were amazing. 

Arjun had a week in Mallorca for a wedding, his girlfriend Noemi’s friend was getting married. Arjun and Noemi met whilst Arjun and Anjul were travelling in Colombia and it’s been a long distance relationship as she lives in Germany, so this week was good for them to get to know each other as they’re going to be travelling together when Arjun takes his sabbatical in August.  

Our long planned family holiday to the Norwegian fjords awaited in July. By this time Manjula had been transferred to Northwick park so it was a lot easier than trekking to Romford. Harshad Sandhya and Shreya were also joining us from the States so there were 13 of us in total. They were flying in on the day that we set sail from Southampton so we were just a little nervous in case of any delays on the flights, but they made it, even having time to come home to freshen up and have breakfast before setting off. 

We had been to Canada for the Alaskan cruise some years earlier so knew what to expect, but for the boys it was their 1^st cruise and they were really impressed. It really is an engineering miracle as to how they manage to build such luxurious floating hotels accommodating thousands of people.We had some wonderful stops in Stavanger, Flaam Olden and Bergen – the scenery was breathtaking and we had wonderful weather most of the time. We got in a few good hikes, went on the Flam railway, one of the top 10 railway journeys of the world, went to the Briksdal glacier and explored Bergen. There was great entertainment in the evenings and lovely to have sit down dinners in the evenings spending quality time with the family. The week flew by and all too soon we arrived back in Southampton. Sandhya and Shreya were leaving in a couple of days, but Harshad was staying back, he and Hitesh were going to Scotland on 30 July to play golf at St Andrews.

Arjun’s much awaited sabbatical was nearing – he was off to Dusseldorf on 3^rd August and Nikhil and some of the cousins were going there for the weekend to give him a good send off. He was flying to Entebbe on 7 August. We had initially organised a pizza party on 29 July as a send off here, but given Manjula’s circumstances, we decided to keep it low key and have a brunch instead. 

Just that morning we decided we would say some prayers for Manjula, and Bhavini and Aasha did a beautiful rendition of the prayer, Man ke Manav. I was pretty emotional as I didn’t know what lay ahead for Manjula and also was worried about Arjun and Noemi who were going to Uganda , Kenya and Tanzania self driving through these countries  after which they were going to chill in Zanzibar before flying to Namibia and taking off on the road again. They promised that they would look after each other. That Sunday 29 July neither Bena nor I visited the hospital as Manjula had had so many visitors. She passed away peacefully the next afternoon but after I had seen her and recited a few prayers. I’m sure she is in a much better place and not suffering. There were so many people at the sadadi and the funeral – she always used to root for the disadvantaged and we heard from so many people of how she had helped them in their lives. 

Unfortunately Hitesh and Harshad had already set off for golf at St Andrews and they had only just got there as we relayed the news to them. It seemed pointless them driving back – they were due to come back on Friday and so they missed the sadadi. Arjun was flying off to Dusseldorf on Friday and a few of the cousins also went to Dusseldorf to give him a send off but it was an emotional time for all of them. Arjun didn’t make it to the funeral as he was flying to Entebbe that day. 

Meanwhile at home we had Swati Hitesh’s cousin’s wife and her 2 boys from Nairobi staying with us so it was fairly hectic at home especially as they had some medical checks and small operations to have done. Also Raju and Niru had been due to come in Mid August, Raju for a few days and Niru after Raju went back . They stayed with Mahesh to give him some moral support .

We had already booked for Madagascar in mid September . It was an island we had thought about visiting for years but not got round to it. We had a 4 Wheel Drive with a driver for our trip but it was still a pretty rough adventure. The roads have seen better days, and the places we visited were pretty remote . We did a lot of hiking in the National parks ,even rock climbing strapped on harnesses at the Tsinghy de Bemarha to see the different limestone karst formations. Coming back from there we were delayed due to road blocks by some villagers protesting against the corrupt police and then had to have an armed escort accompany us in a convoy whilst they cleared the road blocks. The poverty is just so endemic. – we had taken a couple of suitcases of clothes to give away but this was finished in a couple of days after which they were happy to get our empty water bottles, hotel soaps or even an avocado seed on one occasion. 

Madagascar is rich in so many minerals but it is tragic that the people are so poor. The exploitation of the poor has continued for so long that they just get on with their lives living from hand to mouth, surviving till the next meal. 

The last couple of days were spent with Jayni and her family (my friend Indira’s daughter) who live in the capital. 

After we returned from Madagascar, unfortunately our neighbour Navin passed away. He had been hospitalised around the time of Manjula’s death and we didn’t think it was that serious. Life really is unpredictable.

Arjun was meanwhile having a fantastic time travelling. They had a driver for the first 2 weeks in Uganda after which they self drove including some challenging border crossings, they spent time with the Masai , climbed Mount Kenya, learnt kite surfing in Mombasa, chilled in Zanzibar and loved the lunar landscapes of Namibia. Check out his blog which makes for really interesting reading.

https://gowildforawhile.jimdofree.com/

They were nearing the end of their African adventure and due to travel back to Germany and UK when he got tonsillitis. Probably a hard work out in the arid desert where you are gasping for breath was not the smartest thing to do. Unfortunately it didn’t get better even with antibiotics so by the time they flew to Dusseldorf he was having severe difficulty talking, eating , swallowing. For those of you know Arjun it is hard to imagine him quiet and not eating at all. 

The next day they saw the doctor who rushed them to hospital where he was diagnosed with tonsillar abscess and had to have an emergency operation and ended up spending 5 days in hospital and another week in Dusseldorf as he was not allowed to fly. They had only flown back to Germany and the UK as Noemi’s brother was getting married. He ended up missing the wedding but we are thankful that the operation and recuperation was in Germany rather than Namibia! He then came to London for about 10 days and tried to make up for his weight loss. 

They ended up having to curtail their South American adventure, cutting out Bolivia and Peru but had a fantastic time in Argentina and are now in New Zealand. 

To celebrate Nikhil’s birthday, we went to the pizza express jazz club to see a Ghanian band and also went for a vegan afternoon tea. Both were wonderful experiences but of course this was all when Arjun was in hospital in Germany so the celebrations were somewhat tempered.

Whilst Arjun was recuperating in London, we revisted the vegan restaurant for the afternoon tea and also went to see Alladin. This was stunning – visually very glamourous with all the colourful eastern costumes and also funny and witty. It’s really a must see show.

We also managed to see the switching on of the Regent street Xmas lights which happened to be on that evening. London really has so much going on and we don’t always take advantage of what’s on our doorstep.

However we have managed to also Matilda , again very funny and impressive , went to see the Temptations and 4 Tops at the O2 and also see Beverly Knight performing Stevie Wonder which was amazing. 

Of course it helps that I’m not working so we can take advantage of last minute deals for such events. 

At the moment we are in Mumbai for my cousin’s daughter Stuti’s wedding. This is the 1^st time we have spent so much time in Mumbai and are getting to know the rail system quite well. It is so cheap and much better that travelling by car as the roads are so congested. This time we have been able to fully appreciate the stunning architecture built in the time of the British in South Mumbai. We have also taken a day trip to the Elephanta island to see the caves. After the wedding we are hoping to go away to see the Ajanta and Ellora caves and hopefully some other sights. For now it’s wedding preparations.

I continue with my yoga and walks in the mornings Hitesh continues to be busy with soft furnishing business (especially when he tells people he’s going to be away), as well as badminton coaching and of course his golf in his spare time. 

Nikhil and Arjun joined a squash club in Mayfair earlier in the year and since August Nikhil has been playing a lot of squash. His new role also keeps him quite busy. Arjun will be back at the end of January and will start work again in February, however it remains to be seen where he is located. There is talk of a Frankfurt office being opened due to Brexit but with no-one still what sure what Brexit means (apart from the mantra Brexit means Brexit), we are all watching this space including I feel Theresa May.  

Let’s hope the new year brings some clarity.

Wishing you all a wonderful Xmas and peaceful new year. I hope that we have a quieter time next year. This year has been challenging.