And so we say goodbye to 2014 – the year seems to have whizzed by. It seems like only a few months ago that I was writing my 2013 close letter! As always January and February are hectic – and also so cold, after our wonderful trip to India. It really is a shock to the system, to get back into work, and for Hitesh all his badminton commitments kicking in. The boys also had to get back into work after the break in India – poor Arjun getting up at 5am and taking the first train in! Nikhil’s hours are a lot more civilised.
Arjun had always wanted to run the London marathon and early on in the new year he committed to running and raising funds for Shishukunj. Most of the people running had started training from early October but he was not fazed as didn’t think he would need all that training. Also early in the new year he had decided to do some additional work related training (some technical analysis course, the exam for which was 3 days after the marathon). Also we had booked our annual ski trip in March- both boys were coming with us and this happened to be 2 weeks before the marathon. There was a lot going on plus as he was living in the city he had all his cooking, cleaning washing, ironing etc to be doing, so he was not able to put in a lot of training.
Nikhil meanwhile was worried his little brother was going to become fitter than him and so was getting up early and going into the gym before work. At a works drinks, he got persuaded to sign up for Tough Mudder – running a 12 mile obstacle course, but with obstacles such as Arctic Enema and Electric Eel, it is billed as ‘the toughest event on the planet’. I was asked by work colleagues why I was letting him sign up for this but I was given no choice in the matter.
So both of them were putting hours in the gym getting fit. Hitesh was busy with his badminton coaching so even he was exercising- meanwhile I had my yoga!
I had also booked a trip to Prague in March – a few weeks before our ski break. Prague is beautiful and unlike Budapest the year before, the weather was wonderful. We were staying in the heart of the city and did a lot of exploring by foot.
There were 6 of us this time for skiing – a friend and his daughter were joining the 4 of us. It was only her 2nd time so she was having lessons. Arjun and Nikhil would ski with us for an hour or so and then do their own thing. In the afternoons we would all try and ski together so Arjun decided to teach himself snowboarding. He had always wanted to snow board but when we was young , I told him that he had to be over 10 to board and after this he got too good at skiing so could not be bothered to start all over again with boarding. But this time, he hired a board one afternoon and said he would teach himself – no lessons. And he did. Although most of the afternoon was spent on his backside sitting on the snow, by the end of the afternoon he seemed to have mastered the technique!. 2 days later, he hired the board again for the day and by the end of the day was doing red runs as confidently as me! Nikhil meanwhile was mastering his jumps – quite scary to watch. They also finally got me to do a jump- I was meant to do the baby one and accidentally went on to the intermediate one – I panicked when I realised my mistake and so promptly fell – I would have been alright if I had been oblivious of my mistake!
A week after we came back from skiing, we had a bhajan at my brother’s house- it was 2 years since my mum and it was also in honour of all the other family members who had passed away. Arjun had the marathon the next day and an early start so we did not stay too late.
He had missed the last few training sessions so had missed the marathon distance run but had run 18 miles and reckoned on the crowd willing him on for the rest. He left the house around 6am – unfortunately he missed the briefing session the day before and so had not realised that his stuff had to be carried in a certain bag – he could not just give his rucksack in – so he ended up putting his rucksack including his phone and wallet with another friend. We had gone to cheer him on and saw him at around 9 miles – the day was gorgeous and he was loving the atmosphere and was running well.
Later on we decided to move and waited for around 20 mile mark –we had his number so could track where he was. Unfortunately after about 15 miles he seemed to have slowed down completely – turned out he got cramps and as soon as he released one cramp, he got another. We eventually saw him struggling but determined to carry on.
A meeting point had been arranged for all the shishukunj runners and we were eagerly awaiting Arjun’s arrival here – it was about a half mile from the finish line. From the tracker, it appeared that he had finished but we just saw no sign of him. Not having a phone on him, we could not contact him. We waited and waited. It was now getting around 5pm and the last of the runners were staggering through . We went to the finish line but no sign of him. We then found out he had had some treatment but then had been discharged.
It was an exceedingly worrying time – we just hoped that somehow he would make his way home and asked Nikhil to go home and maybe wait for him there. Then whilst we were still waiting at the finish line, we got a phone call from a paramedic that Arjun had fainted on the tube ( luckily with the marathon medal he was allowed to travel free on the tube) and had been whisked off in an ambulance. His sodium level was extremely low and he had an ECG done. They had treated him and he was ok and was on his way home.
Worried and relieved, we rushed home only to find him waiting for us , asking us why we had been so worried! Until they have kids of their own, they will never know what agony and ecstasy it is to be a parent!
After all that drama, he had his technical analysis exam in a 3 days time. He had taken the days off but spent the best part of Monday and Tuesday recovering. He had also unfortunately missed both revision courses as these had been arranged when we went skiing. But he took the exam and passed with a distinction. Not only that, he received the 2nd highest marks. Some others that were taking the course and exam travelled from afar, one as far as Lithuania. This is the ecstasy part – I asked that we be allowed to attend the presentation ceremony but he told me that there were no more tickets!
In May Hitesh had his Turkey trip – now an annual event. The previous year, he had promised to invite the wives but then decided not to so a lot of sad wives – next time he says. This time, Harshad his brother from US , had also decided to join him on the golf trip. We had Hitesh’s cousin Veerag’s wedding as well, the week after the Turkey trip so it worked out quite nicely and both Harshad and Sandhya came to London. The golf trip went really well- the hotel was described by Harshad as a luxury cruise ship on land and the golf courses were some of the best they had played on – in fact one of the golf courses hosts a pro tournament so they can now boast they have played on the same course as Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy!
Following this we had Veerag’s wedding – there were a lot of events at home and then the actual wedding was in Bath along with a post wedding party. The venue was amazing –Bath is such a beautiful place but a little tricky walking around the cobbled streets in sarees and heels! We had all stayed in a hotel towards Bristol and the next day , we explored Bristol – we had a first hand guide in Nikhil, who took us to the Clifton suspension bridge – a feat of engineering with stunning views of the gorge below. We also passed by his University, the hall where his graduation ceremony was held and also his old house. It was quite nostalgic for him.
On the way back we also stopped in Henley and also Windsor –As the day was so beautiful , these English towns looked as beautiful as in the postcards so idyllic and picturesque. Amazing but Harshad and Sandhya said they had not been here before.
June was taken up with the world cup– England’s early demise meant we could actually enjoy the football taking place in beautiful Brazil. Nikhil was training hard for his tough Mudder event but short of taking ice baths and sticking his fingers into the plug sockets, he was never going to be able to prepare for these obstacles. He had decided to raise money for BEHT a charity close to all our hearts.
The event was on 13 July –same day as the football world cup finals and of course Bhabhi and Babukaka’s death anniversary. It was taking place near Northampton and he did not want us there. Arjun was driving him along with another friend who was also taking part.
They finished the event in a really good time but Nikhil said the arctic enema was absolutely awful. It was freezing cold and pitch black and whilst it only lasted for probably less than a minute, he said it felt like an eternity and it was really scary – people were crying and screaming their heads off. The electric shocks were also quite painful, but apart from this he did enjoy the event.
We had another wedding in August – the 3rd of my cousin Dilip’s children. Again it was another fun filled event with lots of fun and laughter. As in the previous year, we were again coerced, no persuaded to take part in a choreographed dance sequence – again very little practice but somehow we managed to pull it off and wowed the audience.
The boys had been talking about buying a flat together for some time – Nikhil was very keen to live in London for a while, having stayed at home whilst doing his masters. We had said we would help them out financially so they began their search in earnest and finally found a place in Mile End. It was a new build – only 2 years old and whilst very small and in an area that we would have turned our noses up at 20 years ago, it was going to be a 10 mins bus ride for Nikhil to work and 20 mins for Arjun. So we offered the asking price and the offer was accepted.
Due to the delay by the solicitors, however, it took forever to exchange on the property but it worked in their favour as thanks to the chancellor’s autumn statement, they saved some money on the stamp duty.
In September, we organised another FLAG trip to Buckland Hall – we hadn’t been here since my niece’s wedding here. It really is such a magical place with lots of positive energy. This time we had hired a coach to take us and it was great to mingle and have lots of fun and laughter in the coach. Also it was Bena’s 60th birthday, so we had organised a surprise for her – to stay in the bridal suite and a cake courtesy of Buckland and the girls had organised some champagne. She was completely surprised!
This year, I had been having lots of issues with my health – I was having a very heavy and prolonged menstrual cycle and was losing a lot of blood and as a result was extremely anemic. A scan in August showed I have huge fibroids and as all other options had been explored and not been successful, I was recommended to have a hysterectomy. I had been hoping to avoid this but it seemed there was no option. Still I decided to seek a second opinion privately before finally deciding – the diagnosis was confirmed and I decided to have the operation privately at Clementine Chucrchill – the first time in 28 years that I was going to be using my private medical cover!
The question then was when to have the operation. This year, all our holidays were back ended. We were scheduled to go to Vietnam and Cambodia in October and to Egypt in December. We then had a ski trip booked for March for 14 people. The hysterectomy was to be a total abdominal hysterectomy with a recovery period of at least 6-8 weeks. I wasn’t sure whether I would recover in time for the skiing if I decided to have this done in January after Egypt. It was recommended to have the operation sooner rather than later so we decided to sacrifice the Egypt holiday and have the operation after our return from Vietnam in early November.
Meanwhile at work , we were undergoing another restructuring. This time we were going to have some people joining our team from another business area and so it was decided that there was one role at risk. We were all duly given our at risk notices and I eagerly put my hand up for early retirement. After the holiday in Vietnam, I was told that I had been successful in applying for early retirement and so I’m scheduled to finish in early August. Can’t wait!
Vietnam and Cambodia were awesome. Rather than our usual holiday of booking a flight and winging it as we tour around, we had booked flights and hotels together – the hotels were all very plush, a lot of them 5 star. The people were so friendly – it was amazing that they could have endured so much yet have come out of it intact. The places were beautiful – Hanoi with its millions of motorbikes and buzzing street life, Halong Bay with its spectacular islands and caves, Hoi an with its quaint town and hundreds of tailors, lush green countryside – we rode bikes in the countryside and also hired a motorbike, Hue with its imperial city and historical tombs, the Cu chi tunnels – an everlasting symbol of how the tiny Vietnamese defeated the mighty Americans and Ho Chi Minh or Saigon as it is always known with its stunning hotels and sky high buildings. And of course not forgetting Siem Reap in Cambodia with the magnificent Angkor Wat temples – they just take your breath away.
All too soon it was time to come back – I only had a week at work before my operation which was scheduled on 10 November. I had had the pre op tests the week before and everything seemed to be in order, however when I came in I was asked by the surgeon if I had had any infection whilst I was away as the white blood cell count was unusually high. We had not even had an upset tummy whilst on holiday and I had not caught any colds so not sure what that was about. They took another sample on the day which seemed to be more reassuring so decided to go ahead with the operation.
The operation lasted a couple of hours and I was told the next morning it had been successful – the fibroid removed had been very large but everything seemed to be ok. During the afternoon , the nurse removed the catheter and I was also given something to eat – not that I could eat much. But it was when she was putting me back to bed she noticed that the dressing was stained and I appeared to be bleeding. They had also taken a blood sample in the morning which revealed the blood count was 7.5 – this surprised the surgeon since he did not think I would have lost that much blood during surgery and therefore asked for a sample to be taken again in the afternoon. This next sample showed the count to be 7 so they realised that something was amiss – it appeared I was bleeding internally and needed to be rushed into theatre. The urgency with which the consultant was giving instructions on getting the blood transfusions and the operating theatre ready made me half realise that this was unexpected and serious but I was still groggy and in pain from my operation the day before so not really reacting. Probably just as well. All I remember is leaving a voicemail for Hitesh to say that I was having a second operation as the stitches looked like they had opened up. At the operating theatre I was asked when I had last had food or drink- normally you can’t drink or eat anything up to 6 hours before the operation. In my case I had only just eaten and drunk – not much but something, but as they were on time critical mission to avoid damage to other organs they must have operated straight away. The next thing I remember is waking up in the ICU. I was told I had 5 units of blood – 3 before the operation and 2 after and 2 units of platelets! That was a lot and made me realise I had had a lucky escape. It was evening and I had lots of visitors and the nurse was complaining about my blood pressure being raised as soon as I received any visitors. I was very dry and hot but was not given any water – just a swab to wet my lips. It was torture!
I was told that being in ICU was just a precaution and I would be moved to the ward the next day. Unfortunately the next day, I started throwing up, so they kept me another day. I was unable to eat anything, or drink anything so I was on a drip for water as well as medication. On top of this, I was being monitored every 15 minutes for blood pressure and pulse as the blood pressure was so high. I still had the catheter and the drain – I had all these black marks in my arms and stomach – making me look like a junkie. My dishevelled and unkempt appearance only reinforced this image!
To stop DVT, I was also having daily injections and I had to wear these tight socks 24/7 which were uncomfortably hot. Not only that, on top of this, I had some inflatable pads that kept inflating every few minutes.as my blood pressure was so high, the cuffs were permanently attached and I was having this automatically monitored every 15 mins – so every so often, my upper arms would tighten , my calfs would tighten , all uncomfortable to the point that I had red marks from these.
The next day on Thursday, not only was I throwing up, but also the drain from the operation appeared to have collected more blood. I was worried that I might cause the stiches to open up from my constant vomiting but was reassured that this should not happen. Nevertheless, they were worried enough about the extra blood being collected to take me for an emergency CT scan.
With regards to the throwing up, they decided to insert a tube up my nose and into the stomach via the oesophagus – a nasogastric tube. This was the worst experience ever and I was gasping and screaming. The tube was attached to a sachet where all the bile was to be collected.
Not being able to eat, my tongue had become furry and so I was given some drops for that. So everyday, it seemed as if I was having a setback rather than moving forward. I was attached to so many tubes and yet I had the physio coming in twice daily and making me walk around – it must have been a comical sight – me walking around with all the paraphernalia in a very thin hospital nightie.
I was finding it difficult to sleep in the ICU – it was noisy and very hot and I was itching to get back into the ward , to my own ensuite room. But each day seemed to bring on new challenges. The nasogastric tube was not very effective as I was still throwing up. Not only was I not able to eat anything, I also had had no bowel movement since the operation, so they were worried in case that organ was damaged.
On the Friday, they finally removed the catheter and also the drain. But the throwing up continued. On the Saturday, the consultant announced that he would get another specialist surgeon to check me on Monday regarding the throwing up – he said the CT scan had shown there was a kink in the upper part of the stomach- he said and I quote’ I hope we haven’t stapled it – I don’t think we have.’ I’m not sure whether he intended to say these words out loud but they were not reassuring words. Doubt sets in and Hitesh and I began to wonder whether we had done the right thing by me having the operation. Hitesh said it was likely they would do another operation – I had had enough operations to last me a lifetime and was adamant not to have another operation. So I did a lot of walking and visualisation and prayer whilst resting. In the evening, I said to Arjun that I thought the kink had been sorted but he was sceptical as I had still thrown up in the early afternoon.
That night, I was very restless and had to pass water 4-5 times. In the morning though, for the first time in a week, I felt hungry. I asked for some peppermint tea and porridge and managed to drink all the tea and take a few spoons of porridge and more importantly I didn’t throw up. Later on I also managed to open my bowels. The nursing staff were ecstatic. It really was a miracle! At lunchtime I managed to eat some soup again without throwing up. Finally that afternoon I was discharged from ICU and taken to the ward.
Since then the recovery has been on track – I was discharged from the ward a few days later. I am now recuperating at home, walking a lot and doing light housework. There were some really dark moments especially when I was in ICU and it was only through the support and love of family and friends that I was able to reach for the light. Thank you to everyone who supported me.
The last 2 pages have all been about me and my hospital experience. Most of the time I remained very positive – at least all the nursing staff and consultant told me this and I think this did help in the recovery process. Our mental state absolutely has an impact on our physical health.
The boys were scheduled to go to Miami and Belize in late November and just before they went, they exchanged contracts on the house. Also undeterred by the Tough mudder challenge, Nikhil had signed up for ‘the survival of the fittest’ challenge and persuaded Arjun to sign up as well. This was scheduled the day before they left for Miami! Luckily it was nowhere near as tough as the Tough mudder ( no pun intended) and they both said they enjoyed it.
The next day they set off for Miami. They also ended up going to Mexico as the weather in Belize was not great. They did a lot of diving in both Belize and Mexico and have shot great footage of the dives. Back after a couple of weeks they were barely back a week and then we had the completion on the flat. They have now moved into the flat – easy commuting distance but not moved out of here as they still come here for football and squash.
Hitesh meanwhile has been very busy with his work and badminton coaching. I’m the only one who has been taking it easy – being waited upon hand and foot , at least for the first few weeks. Now the novelty has worn off and they think I’m just milking it for extra sympathy!
2015 will bring on many changes –after working for 33 years, I will be retiring which will be strange, but am looking forward to it. As has been evident first hand this year, our health is our most important asset and as we grow older, it is important to ensure that this remains intact.
Hope you all a very good festive break and you all have a very healthy and happy new year.
Hasmita Shah 