That time of the year again when we reflect on our triumphs, adversities, joys and sorrows – and there has been plenty of everything this year. It’s been a year of highs and lows, an eventful year, where I’ve cried a lot both because of tragedy but also because of success.
January started again with a bang – Nikhil having finished University was already into his 2nd month in France doing a ski season. From our brief conversations with him, besides being a fully qualified ski technician, he was waiter, receptionist, ski guide, driver and general manager of the hotel. Whilst from the outset, he was never intending to last the full season until April, finishing in February to go off travelling, he ended up being the longest serving member as everyone around him was leaving unexpectedly, some even in the middle of the night! He could write a book about his experiences and you would think it was a work of fiction! He survived not totally unscathed, staggered at how badly the company he was working for was run, and how egoistic the owner was but with a deeper respect for the workers. It was a really steep learning curve for him and he lasted through his intended time only because he felt sorry for the guests who would undoubtedly be the ones to lose out.
Arjun was already back at university, now in his final year so the pressure was on. Just me and Hitesh at home, me busy at work, Hitesh busy with the badminton season.
The year had barely started when we heard tragic news regarding a friend’s son, same age as Arjun who had passed away. It is something that haunts you for a long time.
In February, Nikhil came back from his season and we had the pleasure of his company for a week before he was off again on his world travels. We had a small get together at home with friends and family, to celebrate his homecoming as well as wishing him luck on his adventures. Even my mum came to this event – she generally didn’t visit, as she was getting frail but this time had been persuaded to spend about 10 days at Bena’s house. This would in fact this would be her last visit to our houses.
Nikhil left for Rio on the Monday – part of me was glad he was doing this, part of me was anxious and worried as to what lay ahead of him.
It was Arjun’s 21st birthday in March and it was also mother’s day on his birthday so we decided to give him a surprise turning up at his house in Nottingham with a cake – he was truly flabbergasted when we turned up and promptly announced that it was really nice of us to turn up but he was going out for dinner soon. He didn’t realise we had planned the dinner. – seriously underestimates my planning , organising and scheming skills. It was a wonderful mother’s day for me and I’m sure an equally wonderful 21st birthday for him. Nikhil was sorely missed but he was in Salta in Argentina , had hired a car to go up the mountains, but had managed to send a lovely birthday message to Arjun. I had also written a story for Arjun called ‘The whinger who became a winner’ – for those that knew Arjun as a baby, the title will have particular significance.
The following week, Hitesh and I went skiing to Cervinia in Italy, but bordering on Zermatt in Switzerland so everyday we were crossing the border back and forth. It was a wonderful week – really sunny and we skied continuously from 9-5 so it was extremely tiring – but it was an all inclusive resort so could put our feet up , have a drink and turn up for dinner.
We came back from skiing refreshed with the exercise and tanned from the strong sun.
The following week mum had been feeling a little unwell – she was doing her aymbel fasting but from Wednesday had been complaining of a pain in the stomach and saying she had had a stroke. She didn’t look like she had a stroke – was coherent and mobile and due to her Aymbel, did not want to go to the doctor or hospital. On Friday, I went to visit and whilst she looked frail, she was happy to see me. It only dawns on you when you go to visit, how lonely her life has been since my dad passed away and that basically she is waiting to die. I told her that it was no sin to break her ayembel but she was adamant on finishing it – it was the last day anyway. She was tired and after lunch, she said she’d lie down for a while. After she drifted off to sleep, I left. This was the last time that I saw her. I talked to her the following day when she was still saying she was unwell so I phoned up Manjula to ask her to call the doctor- Manjula had already phoned an ambulance anyway and was on her way to mum. I also phoned up Shailesh to let him know to go and visit. She was taken to hospital and apparently the signs were not good. She had suffered a massive heart attack – probably on the Wednesday but it seems that she was coherent. I did intend to visit her in hospital but as she had not been assigned a ward, I decided to wait until that had been done and by then it was getting to be evening time. I thought I’d see her early the next morning but before we got to the hospital the next day , we got a message that she had passed away. – Sunday April 8. Some things are not meant to be.
But what a way to go – she had finished her ayembel which was so important to her. She had also on her visit to Bena, attended a function at Oshwal centre which on the spur of the moment she decided to sponsor the lunch for, saying she was not sure she would get that opportunity again. And she was right. Also she had pledged a donation for the navagam reunion due to take place later in the year and I had taken her the cheque when I went to visit on Friday. So whilst she was not able to attend this event, her good work had carried on without her.
She actually looked quite peaceful and serene in the hospital and those that did visited her on Saturday, felt she knew her time had come. I’m sure she’s in a happier place.
The hardest was to break the news to Bena who was on a trip to South America – Bena had seen mum a couple of weeks ago and for her it was totally unexpected. Mum’s death hit was a lot harder than expected for all of us. Maybe it was the finality of it all – the end of an era, the end of a generation. And everyone we met said that she would always phone them regularly – since kaka had passed away, she had taken on this role of keeping in touch with everyone and passing on the news. We miss that and miss her- more than we thought we would.
She was always in the background and even when we went to visit, conversations were limited and short as she did not have many interests and we were unable to converse fluently with her. Still that comfortable feeling that someone who has your best interests at heart, who loves you unconditionally no matter what, and who you could pick up the phone to anytime, is no longer there.
The funeral was held a week afterwards so Bena could return from her trip and it was a very peaceful funeral – we had had time to prepare and she got a wonderful send off.
A few weeks after Ba passed away, during the first bank holiday in May, FLAG took a trip to Antwerp (the Jain Derasar- the largest outside India ), Bruges, Keukenhof and Floriade as well as Amsterdam. The trip was already full from January and everyone had a wonderful time – at the derasar, we sang some bhajans in Ba’s memory. Floriade was a little wet so we didn’t enjoy it as much as on a dry day. Bruges was beautiful – very picturesque as was Brussels . All in all a brilliant trip and lots of fun on the coach with songs and laughter.
Meanwhile at home , the house at Mayfair Avenue had been put on sale and since the funeral, we’d been spending time clearing out stuff from there. – it was a poignant reminder of the finality of it all. In May, we decided to have a bhajan session at the house – as neither Bena nor I were going to be around for kaka’s death anniversary on 5th June. Bena was taking a trip to China and we had our large holiday looming –South America for 4 and half weeks and then to Atlanta for Shreya, Hitesh’s niece’s arangetam.
And so to the 1st of June and our much anticipated trip to Brazil, Argentina, Bolivia and Peru. Initially it was just going to be Hitesh and I going but then a few months earlier, friends had also expressed an interest and so Shaila and David were joining us. Nikhil had been giving us tips on best places to go to and how to get there plus we had a lot of information from Bena as well. – of course by the time we got to South America, Nikhil was in Australia on his way to Bali – having travelled in south America for about 10 weeks and then gone on to the US and Australia.
The start of the trip was not great – We had booked by Air France and had to change planes in Paris – due to the delay in departing from London, we almost missed our connecting flight, but were finally relieved to make it- our luggage however did not – so we arrived in Rio with nothing – and then were at the airport for over an hour trying to figure what was going on. Finally to the apartment with no luggage and so had to buy some stuff – the next morning we were booked early on a tour of Rio – no luggage in the morning but luckily it did arrive in the evening . Lesson for future – at least carry a spare change of clothing in your hand luggage.
Rio is a wonderful city – we packed a full day’s tour taking in the beaches, Christ the redeemer statue, sugar loaf mountain and the Tijuca rainforest. The next morning we got up early to walk/ jog on the famous copacabana beach and the following day took a tour of the favelas – the slums. It was an interesting tour – the tour guide and the motorbike ride up was probably the best part of it. Descending down Shaila sprained her ankle, not a good omen for the rest of the trip which was going to involve a fair bit of walking.
From Rio – we went to Iguazzu falls – both the Brazilian and Argentinian side –absolutely breathtaking and from then on Salta – off the touristy track but pretty stunning scenery with multi coloured rocks in the mountains. After this it was bus and a train to Bolivia to Uyuni and the salt flats . David had been moaning about why we needed 3 days in the salt flats, but in fact he admitted afterwards this was the highlight of the trip. It was absolutely stunning scenery – miles and miles of white salt, then suddenly a cactus island in the middle of this white salt , brightly coloured rocks and lagoons , thermal spa with snow capped mountains in the background. The altitude was over 5000m and it was bitterly cold. We stayed in hostel type accommodation , the hostel was made out of salt, as were the beds! The last day we were taken to what was called the lost city , which had stunning rock formations that you climb on and see beautiful lakes – it really looked like something of a movie scene – something form raiders of the lost ark.
We then went to La paz the capital of Bolivia – a quirky unique city which has lots to offer – the highest golf course in the world, of course we had to play there even though it was insanely expensive, the valley of the moon (it really feels like this is something from outer space) . La paz also offers cycling the most dangerous road and Hitesh was really up for it but not the rest of us – another time. Just walking here leaves you breathless – not just from the sights of these really short wonderful bowler hatted women with very frilly skirts but you’re breathless from the altitude and you seem to be always walking uphill.
After la paz , it was to Copacabana – the town in Bolivia on Lake titcaca – a beautiful lake and from there to Puno, the Peruvian town on Lake Titicaca. – Lake titicaca was the lake from my childhood, you always remembered it as the highest navigable lake in the world – to see it was something else. The backdrop of the snowcapped mountains and the lake just goes on for miles. From here we went to Arequipa and a lovely guesthouse run by 2 boys similar in age to Nikhil and Arjun. We took a trip to the colca canyon, the deepest canyon in the world and saw majestic condors soaring high in the skies.
From Arequipa we went to Cuzco, the home of the incas and were fortunate to witness the inta raymi – a festival to celebrate the sun god. We saw all the major sites of the incan empire the highlight of which was of course the Machu Pichu. Nothing quite prepares you for this, especially as when we first set eyes upon it was clouded in mist – unveiling its full glory in due course.
The trip was coming to an end with Lima our last stop – A lot of people hate Lima but we really liked it – not least because of the number of veggie restaurants – some by Hare Rama hare krishna movement and the wonderful churches as well as the dancing fountains. It may not have Rio’s flair but it has its own charm and style.
But the trip was not over as we had the arangetam in Atlanta to look forward to – and how wonderful that turned out be. The whole week was meticulously planned with activities including a 10k jog/run/walk the day after we arrived there. We had a few outings, a puja and then on the Sunday the actual arangetam. Shreya danced beautifully and was a credit to us all. Lots of guests had arrived from round the globe to celebrate this event and the whole week turned out to be a huge bonding exercise and such great fun.
But alas the holiday had to end and almost 6 weeks later I was back at work. Whilst in Atlanta, we heard my bhabhi Nilam’s sister, a dear friend to all of us had passed away. Bharti had been suffering from cancer and despite brave attempts to fight and at least live to see her son Amit’s wedding, it was not to be. She passed away just a week before the wedding.
Again a poignant reminder of how frail life is.
I had not even been back at work for the full week, when on Friday, Hitesh rang up to say his uncle had suddenly passed away. Babukaka died whilst working in the garden, on the same day that Bhabhi, Hitesh’s mum had passed away 7 years earlier. He had no warning, just a sudden heart attack which was fatal. It was a shock to all.
Meanwhile at work, it was busy and contingency plans were being drawn up for the Oylmpics. In the end, the tubes were more reliable than ever, and it was actually pleasant to travel as everyone was smiling for a change, the volunteers could be seen in full force handing out maps, giving directions and generally cheering the commuters. We had not managed to secure any tickets but then I managed to get the football final tickets. It was fantastic- Mexico vs Brazil so promised to be a thrilling match , if only for the atmosphere. Neither Hitesh nor I had ever been to Wembley stadium to see a football match and the atmosphere was electric. Even before we got to the stadium, there were hordes of people everywhere in both Brazilian and Mexican colours and it just looked magical. A lot of the Mexicans were wanting tickets, not expecting their team to be in the final! And the match also had an unexpected twist – Mexico scored in the first minute before everyone had settled into their seats and then throughout the match you thought/ hoped / expected Brazil to respond but actually Mexico played with much more flair than Brazil and were the deserved winners in the end.
The Oylmpics had a real feel good factor for Londoners but it wasn’t until the paraoylmpics, that we saw such team spirit and camaraderie and felt that the whole nation was one. Probably this was single most uniting factor since the war! Some of their efforts were so heroic and in the end all were winners. Luckily I had managed to secure some athletics tickets for the para oylmpics so we could see the stadium.
By this time Hitesh was in Kenya undertaking yet another Mount Kilimanjaro challenge for BEHT , this time with another 10 climbers.
The boys were back a week after Hitesh went to Kenya. Nikhil had had about 7 months of travelling – from Australia, he had gone to Bali and then on to Thailand. Arjun had joined him after his exams in June. He already had secured his required grade in his degree so was starting work in September. So they had about 2 months of travelling together. Arjun joined Nikhil in Thailand after which they went to Laos, Cambodia, Thailand and Malaysia. They thoroughly enjoyed their holiday together, went to some amazing places and met some great people. They did a lot of diving having completed their diving courses.
And so at the end of August they were finally back home – Nikhil, I’d not seen for 7 months – Arjun for about 5 months since mum had passed away. It was great to have them home but all too soon, Arjun started work – or rather training – he had a training programme lasting 6 weeks.
So it was just Nikhil and I and my niece who went to the stadium for the athletics – It was absolutely thrilling – the stadium was magnificent and the crowd roared to every event – the atmosphere was again absolutely electric. Also the races were amazing especially when you saw some of the disabilities.
Meanwhile Hitesh had again successfully climbed Kilimanjaro, this time battling the elements- they had extreme wind, hailstones, snow and rain, and he also had diarrhoea. Again their success rate was really impressive especially given the conditions, 10 out of 11 climbed up to Gilmans and 7 climbed up to Uhuru
Hitesh came back on the Sunday 10 September having spent about 10 days with Omit and Swati, his cousin in Nairobi and their children who he spent some time coaching badminton.
Then on Thursday afternoon, yet some more tragic news. Omit had been shot dead almost in from of the house. It was devastating news for all of us and even now we cannot really believe this has happened. But this is a way of life in Nairobi –all of a sudden you can get attacked and it could be fatal.
Hitesh was really upset and we suggested he should go back so he took the plane that night and went back to Nairobi for 10 days to support Swati and the children. It was an incredibly difficult time for all of them and even now Hitesh is haunted by visions of the bloodied car which was still there when he arrived on Friday morning. The family were grateful that he was there and have now slowly started to come to terms with the loss but it will take a long time.
October was a little less eventful – thank god but we then had Kavita and James’s wedding at Buckland to look forward to. This was a beautiful wedding – the Friday evening was a little Indian ceremony followed by Indian dancing which both sides loved. The next day was the actual wedding followed by lunch and dancing .The weather was brilliant at the weekend and it was lovely to just go upstairs and change or rest etc.
Since then life has been a little more stable. Everyone is at home now – Nikhil is at Kings doing post graduate Maths and is enjoying it. He’s finished one term already and has just come back from a week’s skiing in Val d’isere. Arjun had bought him a go pro action video for his birthday and he took this with him and has made a brilliant film of his skiing. Watch out for it on you tube!
Arjun has settled well into his job, his latest task being to organise the team Christmas do which he got lots of credit for. Hitesh is busy planning a golf trip to Turkey in April and I’ve injured my calf muscle playing squash so I’m hobbling about last week with a crutch but now a lot better .I went to a faith healer and somehow it did improve dramatically after this so definitely there is something more than what is there for us to see in the physical world . I had only started again a couple of weeks back after I found out that there was ladies training and I was getting into it but clearly had not warmed up properly and an awkward movement and suddenly I was in agony. Have to keep remembering that I’m not 20 any more.
And so this year comes to a close. The Mayan prediction didn’t come true – the world did not end, probably a bit battered and bruised, what with the economy still in a frail state, for banks particularly, scandal after scandal and we find all of us who had nothing to do with any of this , were not even aware of what was going on, tainted with the same brush. Still you soldier in the hope that tomorrow is a new day.
So the mantra for next year should be to look after your health and do everything that you want to do – don’t procrastinate cos you might be too late.
I hope you all have a wonderful New year celebration and wishing you all good health, happiness, and peace in 2012.
Hasmita Shah 